So... it has been a while.
I am thinking a lot tonight. I am not sure if this is a post for a blog or a good section for my journal. But my computer is infront of me so I figure I will start with a blog.
I am not perfect. Ok, that is almost a laughable statement when you consider how imperfect I truely am. Only I almost don't want people to know that. OK, hears a sad confession- I have this thing where I think if poeple don't know me, they can't dislike me or really even judge me. I am the quiet, whatever they make me out to be girl.
So, let it be known- I fail, I feel lonely, I get moody, and sometimes I just feel plain lost. That probaly is not a shock to you- I am human. But the thing is, it is so freeing to admit that.
This brings me to God. Wonderful, awesome, loving, perfect, holy- God. See, in my imperfection HIS perfection is glorified. It becomes even more amazing when I see how I really am- to see how powerfully amazing it is that God loves me. That He chose me. That I am His child.
It is freeing and wonderful to have truth wash over me. That I don't have to be perfect, that I am His. That my life is not about me, but about Him. That all my hope, joy, and peace can be found in Him...
I am going to the beach with my family for our family Christmas gift. I want to take this time to have my own spiritual retreat. I want to rediscover my faith in a new way. I want to focus wholly on God. I want a deeper relationship.
I am excited to fall deeper in love with the great I AM.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Peace, Love, and Praises
I have had an awesome week! :) I have been relaxing and reading a lot. I have read the book of Acts this summer so far. Here is my normal setting at night: 
And I have to say I like the view! :) My dog Pepper has become an inside dog this summer and now sleeps at the edge of my bed at night. He is so cute! So with the Bible in my lap and Pepper at my feet I get ready for sleep. It's been nice.. and well- peaceful.
Then I have also been reminded of the amazing friendships in my life. It's been fun to just have a time of no time limits! I am not worried about schoolwork, being late for stuff, or going to bed at night. That's my kind of summer vacation! It has been so fun going hiking with Sarah, Brittany, and Becca. And then I saw Amber after a week of no-Amber time and I am just so thankful for friends I can be myself around. Who listen to me, care about, and always make me laugh! I just love them so much! <3
Amber and I went to a church on Wednesday to see the African Children's Choir. And it was so much fun! Just to hear their prue voices singing praises to God and to also get a little taste of Africa. I was amazed by how well they could dance and sing! I am always grateful for organizations like that one. That bring the lost and hurting of the world to be real living people infront of us. But it wasn't sad- it was encouraging to how lives were being changed through this organization and how blessed the children flet to be apart of it. I tell ya- it didn't do much to help cool down the fire within me to go to Africa one day. That is definately still on my bucket list! Here is the children's choir:
With the summer drawing closer to the end, I am reminded of my summer list of to-do's.. I still have a lot of those left! I am so excited for the next few weeks- I am starting my new job, I am going to the beach with my friends (AHHHH!!), and I get to meet my International Buccaneer Buddy soon! I am so excited for all those things! I just feel so full right now! I am so thankful to have a life packed with peace, love, and praises.
And I have to say I like the view! :) My dog Pepper has become an inside dog this summer and now sleeps at the edge of my bed at night. He is so cute! So with the Bible in my lap and Pepper at my feet I get ready for sleep. It's been nice.. and well- peaceful.
Then I have also been reminded of the amazing friendships in my life. It's been fun to just have a time of no time limits! I am not worried about schoolwork, being late for stuff, or going to bed at night. That's my kind of summer vacation! It has been so fun going hiking with Sarah, Brittany, and Becca. And then I saw Amber after a week of no-Amber time and I am just so thankful for friends I can be myself around. Who listen to me, care about, and always make me laugh! I just love them so much! <3
Amber and I went to a church on Wednesday to see the African Children's Choir. And it was so much fun! Just to hear their prue voices singing praises to God and to also get a little taste of Africa. I was amazed by how well they could dance and sing! I am always grateful for organizations like that one. That bring the lost and hurting of the world to be real living people infront of us. But it wasn't sad- it was encouraging to how lives were being changed through this organization and how blessed the children flet to be apart of it. I tell ya- it didn't do much to help cool down the fire within me to go to Africa one day. That is definately still on my bucket list! Here is the children's choir:
With the summer drawing closer to the end, I am reminded of my summer list of to-do's.. I still have a lot of those left! I am so excited for the next few weeks- I am starting my new job, I am going to the beach with my friends (AHHHH!!), and I get to meet my International Buccaneer Buddy soon! I am so excited for all those things! I just feel so full right now! I am so thankful to have a life packed with peace, love, and praises.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Lately
This summer has been so awesome! I feel so blessed to have gotten to deepen my relationships thorughout the past few months! I just wanted to share some of those snapshots through the summer:
So these next few pictures was when Amber, Mwmaba, Becca, and I went to Bays Mountian. Me, Amber, and Becca hadn;t been there since elementary school and well.. Mwamba had never been. We spent the day walking around, doing the activities, and just enjoying being together.
Our picnic set-up was so cute! :)
Next was our family beach trip to Hilton Head! That was so fun and relaxing this year!
Well those aren't even half of the pictures. But it's a start! Plus there's all those times I don't have pictures of. Like having lunch with Janelle, Emily, and Emily's adorable little boys. Then eating out with Alyssa, Brittany, and Becca. So, there's a little peak into the pictures from the beginning of this summer break! More to come!! :D
So these next few pictures was when Amber, Mwmaba, Becca, and I went to Bays Mountian. Me, Amber, and Becca hadn;t been there since elementary school and well.. Mwamba had never been. We spent the day walking around, doing the activities, and just enjoying being together.
Our picnic set-up was so cute! :)
Next was our family beach trip to Hilton Head! That was so fun and relaxing this year!
Well those aren't even half of the pictures. But it's a start! Plus there's all those times I don't have pictures of. Like having lunch with Janelle, Emily, and Emily's adorable little boys. Then eating out with Alyssa, Brittany, and Becca. So, there's a little peak into the pictures from the beginning of this summer break! More to come!! :D
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Love=Sacrifice
Repunzel: "NO! I will never stop fighting! .. But if you let me heal him I will go with you. I will not try to escape. I wll be with you forever- just like you want. Just please, please let me heal him."
Flynn Rider: "No.. I can't let you do this."
Repunzel : "Shh.. it'll be alright."
Flynn: "Repenzel..."
He pulls her close as if he is going to give her a tender goodbye kiss when- WOOSH, he swips of her long beautiful blonde hair that could have saved his life.
Ok, that is paraphrased from the Disney movie, Tangled, but stay with me here. All the geat love stories I can think of have scrifice in them. They give up comfort, safety, lifestyles, and sometimes their lives for the ones they love.
Then there is greatest love story ever told- that Jesus would come down from Heaven and die for you and me.
In the Bible, it says "No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends" -John 15:13
So what are you willing to sacrifice for the ones you love? For your friends, your family, for God?
Are you willing to sacrifice your selfishness and pride for the ones around you? How about your time and energy? What if God is calling you to give up your comfort and secerity for something He is calling you to do?
I am asking myself these same qestions- what am I willing to sacrifice for love?
Flynn Rider: "No.. I can't let you do this."
Repunzel : "Shh.. it'll be alright."
Flynn: "Repenzel..."
He pulls her close as if he is going to give her a tender goodbye kiss when- WOOSH, he swips of her long beautiful blonde hair that could have saved his life.
Ok, that is paraphrased from the Disney movie, Tangled, but stay with me here. All the geat love stories I can think of have scrifice in them. They give up comfort, safety, lifestyles, and sometimes their lives for the ones they love.
Then there is greatest love story ever told- that Jesus would come down from Heaven and die for you and me.
In the Bible, it says "No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends" -John 15:13
So what are you willing to sacrifice for the ones you love? For your friends, your family, for God?
Are you willing to sacrifice your selfishness and pride for the ones around you? How about your time and energy? What if God is calling you to give up your comfort and secerity for something He is calling you to do?
I am asking myself these same qestions- what am I willing to sacrifice for love?
The Lost Art of Empathy
We know people are hurting. There is human trafficking, disease, people with no water, AIDs... and those are only a few of the world's problems. But how does this make us feel? What do we DO about it?
We see the stats, the photography, the stories. But often times to questions we ask ourselves is "what can I do about it?" or "How does this effect me?" Even our focus on the helpless and hopeless has to do with me, myslef, and I.
So much of the time I find meself in the center of my universe. I care about these issues- but I care about myself more. About what I can do to make me more happy or how I can more- stuff, pleasure, comfort.. the list goes on.
Often times we don't put ourselves in other people's shoes, becuase we are unable to get out of our own. We are scared to imgian the pain some of these people in these situations would be feeling or thinking- Empathy.
It's putting the other person's pain above our own. It's stepping outside of our comfort zone- to have our hearts broken by someone else's pain. The first step in this process is caring. It is caring about the people who don't know you, who are unable to give anything in return, who need help.
It's being able to see these people are God's children too. That is He loves them dearly. I think of the quote from the movie How to Save a Life- "Sometimes we ask God why He is not doing anything to help those who are hurting- God may be asking us the same question."
So for today my prayer to God is to "break my heart for what breaks Your's" from a song by Starfield. I hope you join me so we can change our focus, our hearts, and others lives.
We see the stats, the photography, the stories. But often times to questions we ask ourselves is "what can I do about it?" or "How does this effect me?" Even our focus on the helpless and hopeless has to do with me, myslef, and I.
So much of the time I find meself in the center of my universe. I care about these issues- but I care about myself more. About what I can do to make me more happy or how I can more- stuff, pleasure, comfort.. the list goes on.
Often times we don't put ourselves in other people's shoes, becuase we are unable to get out of our own. We are scared to imgian the pain some of these people in these situations would be feeling or thinking- Empathy.
It's putting the other person's pain above our own. It's stepping outside of our comfort zone- to have our hearts broken by someone else's pain. The first step in this process is caring. It is caring about the people who don't know you, who are unable to give anything in return, who need help.
It's being able to see these people are God's children too. That is He loves them dearly. I think of the quote from the movie How to Save a Life- "Sometimes we ask God why He is not doing anything to help those who are hurting- God may be asking us the same question."
So for today my prayer to God is to "break my heart for what breaks Your's" from a song by Starfield. I hope you join me so we can change our focus, our hearts, and others lives.
Monday, June 20, 2011
The Dancer
Have you ever been to a dance recital? I have been in one. Yes, the most unflexable person in the world took ballet, tap, and jazz a few years ago. To me the best dancers weren't the one who knew every step or who were the most flexable (ofcourse it didn't hurt) but the ones who danced with thier all. That you could see the passion coming from their eyes as they twirled and leaped across the stage.
I believe God gave us all steps that we dance to as we follow Him though life. For me- I know the steps pretty well. I have read the books, listened to the music, and done "Chirstian things". But what I want is to be the dancer so bursting with passion that no matter how good they are- watching them is like being able to feel what they do. People who give it their all, have always been intoxicating for me.
So many times we give God part of our lives. We go to church, we read our Bible, and even serve once in a while. God wants so much more than that from our lives. He wants a thrist for His love, a passion for His presence, it becomes much more than a ritual- its a relationship.
I think of the song by Matthew West- "I don't wanna go through the motions, I don't wanna waste one more day, without all your all consuming passion inside of me, I don't wanna spend my whole life asking, what if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions"
That's my prayer for the next few days- for my life. That I won't just go through the motions. Dance half-heartly through life. But that with all that I am love my Creator and know Him deeply. I know I don't want to ask at the end of my life- what if I had given everything? No, I want to give everything to the one who gave me life, love, and grace overflowing.
I believe God gave us all steps that we dance to as we follow Him though life. For me- I know the steps pretty well. I have read the books, listened to the music, and done "Chirstian things". But what I want is to be the dancer so bursting with passion that no matter how good they are- watching them is like being able to feel what they do. People who give it their all, have always been intoxicating for me.
So many times we give God part of our lives. We go to church, we read our Bible, and even serve once in a while. God wants so much more than that from our lives. He wants a thrist for His love, a passion for His presence, it becomes much more than a ritual- its a relationship.
I think of the song by Matthew West- "I don't wanna go through the motions, I don't wanna waste one more day, without all your all consuming passion inside of me, I don't wanna spend my whole life asking, what if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions"
That's my prayer for the next few days- for my life. That I won't just go through the motions. Dance half-heartly through life. But that with all that I am love my Creator and know Him deeply. I know I don't want to ask at the end of my life- what if I had given everything? No, I want to give everything to the one who gave me life, love, and grace overflowing.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Lessons
So I have learned a little the past few days. To recap- I quit my job, got sick, and becuase of that couldn't go to the camp that I was excited about, and pretty much went stir-crazy!
So what can be learned from these events? Well, for me a Bible verse kept popping in my head. I didn't know the book it was in, so I pulled out my Bible and looked it up. It was "Keep your life free from love of money and be content with what you have, for he said, "I will never leave or forsake you".
That is what I had been missing- being content. I swear, most of my days are filled to the max or I am planning on where to go, what to do, who to hang out with, and where to get money. And another way I spend my time- is to look for things I want with money that I do not have! HAHA!
Not very often I am just happy with where I am and what I have. It is like a ever going thrist for more. So, the word content has been in my heart and head. It is what the Lord is teaching me now.
Through this it made me think of "Be stil and know that I am God" -Psalm 46:7. How often in life do you get an oppertunity like this? To just take a break from the busyness of life and be with God? Ofcourse I am learning this takes some getting use to. Being content is a skill I havn't yet mastered.
But at least I know part of this summer is to apperciate where I am, who is with me, and what I got. To just live out the present with all that I got and leave the future to God. Also, to get to know God in a deeper way without the busyness of life getting in the way too much. And I am excited about it! :)
As a side note- I learned I like green and black flavored tea, which is wierd cuase I hate sweet tea (I know, how very un-southern of me!) Also, I like antique shopping. Me and Becca went to a few downtown today and it was fun. So a summer full of relaxing, getting to know God deeper, green tea, and antiques here I come! :)
So what can be learned from these events? Well, for me a Bible verse kept popping in my head. I didn't know the book it was in, so I pulled out my Bible and looked it up. It was "Keep your life free from love of money and be content with what you have, for he said, "I will never leave or forsake you".
That is what I had been missing- being content. I swear, most of my days are filled to the max or I am planning on where to go, what to do, who to hang out with, and where to get money. And another way I spend my time- is to look for things I want with money that I do not have! HAHA!
Not very often I am just happy with where I am and what I have. It is like a ever going thrist for more. So, the word content has been in my heart and head. It is what the Lord is teaching me now.
Through this it made me think of "Be stil and know that I am God" -Psalm 46:7. How often in life do you get an oppertunity like this? To just take a break from the busyness of life and be with God? Ofcourse I am learning this takes some getting use to. Being content is a skill I havn't yet mastered.
But at least I know part of this summer is to apperciate where I am, who is with me, and what I got. To just live out the present with all that I got and leave the future to God. Also, to get to know God in a deeper way without the busyness of life getting in the way too much. And I am excited about it! :)
As a side note- I learned I like green and black flavored tea, which is wierd cuase I hate sweet tea (I know, how very un-southern of me!) Also, I like antique shopping. Me and Becca went to a few downtown today and it was fun. So a summer full of relaxing, getting to know God deeper, green tea, and antiques here I come! :)
Saturday, May 21, 2011
These Girls...
Sarah, Amber, Brittany, and Becca. I first want to say I love you guys- and that's an understatement. LOL! These are the people who know my heart, know my life, and who I'm going to change the world with. We have tried(LOL!) to meet about every week for a Bible study together. Sometimes at Starbucks and others like the picture above- Olive Garden. This Bible study has been such a blessing to me. More than words can describe really. This past time it was about being a missional person. Learning what it means to live like Christ and how to serve one another. I have learned so much through our conversations, our laughs, our prayers. I am amazed that we get to learn about God more together. I love how open we are with one another. I am incredably blessed that we have been able to fellowship with one another. I am so excited to begin our next one during the summer!! :D
On another note I have been in training for the Boys and Girls Club the past few days. The kids come in Monday! I am excited and also a little nervous. But I am putting it in God's hands.
I am still doing the shots things for now. It makes things more difficult in some ways, but I havn't flet this good in a very long time!
Becca graduated last Thursday. Wow. Like my Dad saids- "The one constant in life is change." Itn't that the truth? I was so proud of the person Becca has become and how well she did in high school. I had so much fun that night with Brittany, Becca, Jeff, and Julie. We are all heart brothers now. Don't ask. But fo realz- it was a blast! I am so excited to see where Becca goes from here! I know God has amazing plans for her. So to end this little post- here's a picture of me, Brittany, and the graduate herself-
Monday, May 16, 2011
My Mission Statement
So here's a quick update- I LOVE being on the shots! My sugars have not been this good in years.. ofcourse its only been a day, but so far so good!
So, I wanted to share something I have had for a long time. In my freashman year of high school I read a book saying that it is a good idea to write a mission statement for your life. Since then I have reviced and rewriten it numerous times to what you see today:
I promise to:
Put God above all else,
Love Him with all that I am and give all glory to Him,
Love and serve others above myself,
Try my hardest in all that I do,
Always stay close to my family,
Be a true friend at all times,
Stay true to myself,
Keep a positive outlook,
Reach out to those who are hurting,
Always stand for truth,
Always be able to laugh at myself,
Speak with my actions,
Always continue to learn,
Enjoy the simple pleasures of everyday life,
Never be afraid to live,
Take each day as my last,
Always encourage others- not tear them down,
Always set goals and try to acheive them,
Continue to fall more in love with Jesus each day,
And to discover who God has created me to be.
So, I wanted to share something I have had for a long time. In my freashman year of high school I read a book saying that it is a good idea to write a mission statement for your life. Since then I have reviced and rewriten it numerous times to what you see today:
I promise to:
Put God above all else,
Love Him with all that I am and give all glory to Him,
Love and serve others above myself,
Try my hardest in all that I do,
Always stay close to my family,
Be a true friend at all times,
Stay true to myself,
Keep a positive outlook,
Reach out to those who are hurting,
Always stand for truth,
Always be able to laugh at myself,
Speak with my actions,
Always continue to learn,
Enjoy the simple pleasures of everyday life,
Never be afraid to live,
Take each day as my last,
Always encourage others- not tear them down,
Always set goals and try to acheive them,
Continue to fall more in love with Jesus each day,
And to discover who God has created me to be.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Giving It Another Shot
I have been on the insulin pump now for ten years of my life! I was diagnosed with type one Diabetes when I was nine years old, a year later I got the pump. From that point on I have never been diconnected from the pump for more than an hour or two because of swimming or whatever.
So now I have decided to try the shots again. I will be taking 4-6 shots a day, with one shot of long lasting insulin at night. I just took my pump off and it feels great! :) I feel freedom- like I need to go jump on a slip-N-slide or just roll around on the floor!
But yea.. tonight will be my first night being unconnected from my pump in years... and I am excited! It may seem werid I am excited to start taking shots again. They just hurt less and for this time in my life seem like the right choice for me. These next few weeks will be a trial run before I go back to the doctor to make decision on to go back on the pump or not. So I will keep you updated on what I think!
I am so ecxited to toss and turn all night without worrying about my pump!!!! It's the simple things in life...
So now I have decided to try the shots again. I will be taking 4-6 shots a day, with one shot of long lasting insulin at night. I just took my pump off and it feels great! :) I feel freedom- like I need to go jump on a slip-N-slide or just roll around on the floor!
But yea.. tonight will be my first night being unconnected from my pump in years... and I am excited! It may seem werid I am excited to start taking shots again. They just hurt less and for this time in my life seem like the right choice for me. These next few weeks will be a trial run before I go back to the doctor to make decision on to go back on the pump or not. So I will keep you updated on what I think!
I am so ecxited to toss and turn all night without worrying about my pump!!!! It's the simple things in life...
Friday, May 13, 2011
Looking Back to Move Forward
Before beginning a new chapter I like to look back at the old. This past year ended up being different than I had planned. But that's how life goes right?
This past school year was filled with so many things. I got to room with my best friend, Amber. I can't believe how close we got this year. I know I could never find a better room mate or best friend. This year was also hard though. I learned mostly what I don't like to do, but I guess that beings you closer to what you do want. This year left me with more questions about my futrue than answers. Like I am thinking of changing my major. To what? I have no idea. Part of that is liberating, saying "God I no longer have a plan. You lead." Then again I am the kind of person who have lists and to-do's for everything! I like knowing what is going to happen and being able to plan for it. So now as I perpare for my junior year of college, I feel kinda like I am just floating. Waiting for my dream major to hit me in the head.
The best part of this year was the friends I have made and the friendships that have grown deeper throughout this year. Beginning with Amber and her random commments, never-ending laughter, and deep late night talks. I loved living with my best friend! Keely was also a big part of this year, That girl would come over around midnight and stay til about 3 every night dancing, studying, and giving me and Amber lots of greats tidbits of information. Next is Olivia, I am so glad I got to know her this year. She has left such an impact on my life. From her caring heart and geniune charater. Through Olivia I met Mwamba! I love that girl too! When me, Amber and her get together there is always laughs and I feel like we are so similar in so many ways. From our disney knowledge to our love for reading and our thrist for social justice. I know our friendship is now just beginning to bloom. I am so thankful for all these freinds and so many more God has placed in my life. I am reminded of the saying that there are only two things that will matter when you get to Heaven- Your relationship with God and your relationships with other people.
So that pretty much brings you up to speed on my life. Now I am at where the Summer stretches before me like the endless ocean, calling my name. I have been exciting for a break since Christmas break ended! I have a of plans and goals for this summer. A lot have to do with just planned "relaxing" though. A few more are to write my first novel, save money for a mission trip next year, learn some songs on the guitar, learn some more spanish, redo my room, get healthier, go to the beach with friends, and start a blog. Just to name a few... So one down, about 40 more to check off the list.
Well as you can tell- I love to write. So I am sure I will be on here again soon. I know this summer will be a time when I draw closer to God and hopefully hear His voice more clearly to where He is calling me. I am so excited for this summer and I am glad I finally stated a blog. Now time to start on my outline for my novel...
This past school year was filled with so many things. I got to room with my best friend, Amber. I can't believe how close we got this year. I know I could never find a better room mate or best friend. This year was also hard though. I learned mostly what I don't like to do, but I guess that beings you closer to what you do want. This year left me with more questions about my futrue than answers. Like I am thinking of changing my major. To what? I have no idea. Part of that is liberating, saying "God I no longer have a plan. You lead." Then again I am the kind of person who have lists and to-do's for everything! I like knowing what is going to happen and being able to plan for it. So now as I perpare for my junior year of college, I feel kinda like I am just floating. Waiting for my dream major to hit me in the head.
The best part of this year was the friends I have made and the friendships that have grown deeper throughout this year. Beginning with Amber and her random commments, never-ending laughter, and deep late night talks. I loved living with my best friend! Keely was also a big part of this year, That girl would come over around midnight and stay til about 3 every night dancing, studying, and giving me and Amber lots of greats tidbits of information. Next is Olivia, I am so glad I got to know her this year. She has left such an impact on my life. From her caring heart and geniune charater. Through Olivia I met Mwamba! I love that girl too! When me, Amber and her get together there is always laughs and I feel like we are so similar in so many ways. From our disney knowledge to our love for reading and our thrist for social justice. I know our friendship is now just beginning to bloom. I am so thankful for all these freinds and so many more God has placed in my life. I am reminded of the saying that there are only two things that will matter when you get to Heaven- Your relationship with God and your relationships with other people.
So that pretty much brings you up to speed on my life. Now I am at where the Summer stretches before me like the endless ocean, calling my name. I have been exciting for a break since Christmas break ended! I have a of plans and goals for this summer. A lot have to do with just planned "relaxing" though. A few more are to write my first novel, save money for a mission trip next year, learn some songs on the guitar, learn some more spanish, redo my room, get healthier, go to the beach with friends, and start a blog. Just to name a few... So one down, about 40 more to check off the list.
Well as you can tell- I love to write. So I am sure I will be on here again soon. I know this summer will be a time when I draw closer to God and hopefully hear His voice more clearly to where He is calling me. I am so excited for this summer and I am glad I finally stated a blog. Now time to start on my outline for my novel...
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