In The Zone- is the theme for this year's FCA Camp. I went to be a Huddle Leader this past week at Chattanooga for a girl's basketball camp. It was so refreashing to my soul- To be around women of God who their all consuming desire was to know and serve Christ. I also really enjoyed being around the sports atmosphere. God showed me his love for me, over and over again.
I just read my last post- eh... Man. I was feeling down. One thing that came back in full light at camp is that my opinions on my life shouldn't come from my own knowledge or feelings. I was relying too much on myself. (Proverbs 3:5-7)
Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those called according to his purpose."
So ALL things that happen to me are for the good. I may never understand why. Not going to Colorado this summer- for the good. Having Diabetes- for the good. Being jobless for this season of my life- for the good. I must rest in this truth.
I want to understand! I mean that's one of the things about me. I want more and more knowledge and wisdom. I read and read and search for these hard answers. But when it comes to God- faith in his purpose and plan is something I must learn to do.
I want to know the Scripture more, to hide it in my heart. I am excited to go deeper in my relationship with the all-powerful, all-knowing, Holy God. He is more than I could ever think or imgian. His plans are far greater than mine could ever be-
Ephesians 3:20- "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us"
(This is also this year's FCA theme verse. I think the Lord is telling me something.)
Monday, June 11, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Full Circle
It is summer once again. I look back at the first posts of this blog and think- wow, not much has changed.
I am such am odd person. I want change! I want to be transformed. So, to say that not much has changed is good and bad. I mean its awesome because- I have a great life. But at the same time is it wrong to believe that something should have happened by now? I feel absolutly stir crazy! I don't have a job. Which is great, this means I have no money. So unless it's free- I am not going to be able to do it. Then the goals I had for last summer.. those are pretty much the same for this summer. Pretty much they have been the same goals I have had since high school.
It just feels like I am going in a big circle. I am back from the launching point, only I am not going anywhere. I know- that's a great perspective, right? Since last summer I have told myself it was God's will for me to go to Colorado this summer. I prayed, I worked, I got accepted, and... I am not going. I am a sucker for happy endings and God-things and I am just fustrated now. I feel mad at myself for not trying harder, for not raising the support- then I hear those words- "It must have not been God's plan for this summer." That is not very comforting to me- should it be?
So, whatever happens in life is God's will? That is what these seems to be suggesting. Oh that happened- God's will. Oh that didn't happen- God's will. I feel like I tangled up in all these Christian philosophy quotes and werstling with what they truely mean.
So I have been doing nothing- do you know how annoying "nothing" gets after a while? One day of nothing is fine. But weeks of nothing- not good. I have been trying to get a job, learning a few chords on the guitar, and been on the computer. I just feel dull to the world and unable to break out of the fog I have been under.
Ok, So that it sorta my online pity party. It was fun, right? I am sure you are glad you got the invite.
But now what?
I have been searching the internet for answers. For volunteer opportunities, jobs, internships, schools, inspiration- I have found nada. I think I am looking at the wrong places for such things.
After reading this over and over, I have decided that today is going to be the end of this chapter. Of these days of waiting, nothing, tv, computer, sleeping til 11- I just can't take it. Tomorrow I am going to start anew. I am leaving tomorrow- I don't know where. But I am going to stop thinking and just go for it! I am just going to get out of the imaginary cage I have placed myself in. Tomorrow, by the grace of God, I am breaking free.
I am such am odd person. I want change! I want to be transformed. So, to say that not much has changed is good and bad. I mean its awesome because- I have a great life. But at the same time is it wrong to believe that something should have happened by now? I feel absolutly stir crazy! I don't have a job. Which is great, this means I have no money. So unless it's free- I am not going to be able to do it. Then the goals I had for last summer.. those are pretty much the same for this summer. Pretty much they have been the same goals I have had since high school.
It just feels like I am going in a big circle. I am back from the launching point, only I am not going anywhere. I know- that's a great perspective, right? Since last summer I have told myself it was God's will for me to go to Colorado this summer. I prayed, I worked, I got accepted, and... I am not going. I am a sucker for happy endings and God-things and I am just fustrated now. I feel mad at myself for not trying harder, for not raising the support- then I hear those words- "It must have not been God's plan for this summer." That is not very comforting to me- should it be?
So, whatever happens in life is God's will? That is what these seems to be suggesting. Oh that happened- God's will. Oh that didn't happen- God's will. I feel like I tangled up in all these Christian philosophy quotes and werstling with what they truely mean.
So I have been doing nothing- do you know how annoying "nothing" gets after a while? One day of nothing is fine. But weeks of nothing- not good. I have been trying to get a job, learning a few chords on the guitar, and been on the computer. I just feel dull to the world and unable to break out of the fog I have been under.
Ok, So that it sorta my online pity party. It was fun, right? I am sure you are glad you got the invite.
But now what?
I have been searching the internet for answers. For volunteer opportunities, jobs, internships, schools, inspiration- I have found nada. I think I am looking at the wrong places for such things.
After reading this over and over, I have decided that today is going to be the end of this chapter. Of these days of waiting, nothing, tv, computer, sleeping til 11- I just can't take it. Tomorrow I am going to start anew. I am leaving tomorrow- I don't know where. But I am going to stop thinking and just go for it! I am just going to get out of the imaginary cage I have placed myself in. Tomorrow, by the grace of God, I am breaking free.
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