In The Zone

In The Zone- is the theme for this year's FCA Camp. I went to be a Huddle Leader this past week at Chattanooga for a girl's basketball camp. It was so refreashing to my soul- To be around women of God who their all consuming desire was to know and serve Christ. I also really enjoyed being around the sports atmosphere. God showed me his love for me, over and over again.
I just read my last post- eh... Man. I was feeling down. One thing that came back in full light at camp is that my opinions on my life shouldn't come from my own knowledge or feelings. I was relying too much on myself. (Proverbs 3:5-7)
Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those called according to his purpose."
So ALL things that happen to me are for the good. I may never understand why. Not going to Colorado this summer- for the good. Having Diabetes- for the good. Being jobless for this season of my life- for the good. I must rest in this truth.
I want to understand! I mean that's one of the things about me. I want more and more knowledge and wisdom. I read and read and search for these hard answers. But when it comes to God- faith in his purpose and plan is something I must learn to do.
I want to know the Scripture more, to hide it in my heart. I am excited to go deeper in my relationship with the all-powerful, all-knowing, Holy God. He is more than I could ever think or imgian. His plans are far greater than mine could ever be-

Ephesians 3:20- "Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us"

(This is also this year's FCA theme verse. I think the Lord is telling me something.)

Full Circle

It is summer once again. I look back at the first posts of this blog and think- wow, not much has changed.
I am such am odd person. I want change! I want to be transformed. So, to say that not much has changed is good and bad. I mean its awesome because- I have a great life. But at the same time is it wrong to believe that something should have happened by now? I feel absolutly stir crazy! I don't have a job. Which is great, this means I have no money. So unless it's free- I am not going to be able to do it. Then the goals I had for last summer.. those are pretty much the same for this summer. Pretty much they have been the same goals I have had since high school.
It just feels like I am going in a big circle. I am back from the launching point, only I am not going anywhere. I know- that's a great perspective, right? Since last summer I have told myself it was God's will for me to go to Colorado this summer. I prayed, I worked, I got accepted, and... I am not going. I am a sucker for happy endings and God-things and I am just fustrated now. I feel mad at myself for not trying harder, for not raising the support- then I hear those words- "It must have not been God's plan for this summer." That is not very comforting to me- should it be?
So, whatever happens in life is God's will? That is what these seems to be suggesting. Oh that happened- God's will. Oh that didn't happen- God's will. I feel like I tangled up in all these Christian philosophy quotes and werstling with what they truely mean.
So I have been doing nothing- do you know how annoying "nothing" gets after a while? One day of nothing is fine. But weeks of nothing- not good. I have been trying to get a job, learning a few chords on the guitar, and been on the computer. I just feel dull to the world and unable to break out of the fog I have been under.
Ok, So that it sorta my online pity party. It was fun, right? I am sure you are glad you got the invite.
But now what?
I have been searching the internet for answers. For volunteer opportunities, jobs, internships, schools, inspiration- I have found nada. I think I am looking at the wrong places for such things.
After reading this over and over, I have decided that today is going to be the end of this chapter. Of these days of waiting, nothing, tv, computer, sleeping til 11- I just can't take it. Tomorrow I am going to start anew. I am leaving tomorrow- I don't know where. But I am going to stop thinking and just go for it! I am just going to get out of the imaginary cage I have placed myself in. Tomorrow, by the grace of God, I am breaking free.

Beautiful Imperfection

So... it has been a while.
I am thinking a lot tonight. I am not sure if this is a post for a blog or a good section for my journal. But my computer is infront of me so I figure I will start with a blog.
I am not perfect. Ok, that is almost a laughable statement when you consider how imperfect I truely am. Only I almost don't want people to know that. OK, hears a sad confession- I have this thing where I think if poeple don't know me, they can't dislike me or really even judge me. I am the quiet, whatever they make me out to be girl.
So, let it be known- I fail, I feel lonely, I get moody, and sometimes I just feel plain lost. That probaly is not a shock to you- I am human. But the thing is, it is so freeing to admit that.
This brings me to God. Wonderful, awesome, loving, perfect, holy- God. See, in my imperfection HIS perfection is glorified. It becomes even more amazing when I see how I really am- to see how powerfully amazing it is that God loves me. That He chose me. That I am His child.
It is freeing and wonderful to have truth wash over me. That I don't have to be perfect, that I am His. That my life is not about me, but about Him. That all my hope, joy, and peace can be found in Him...
I am going to the beach with my family for our family Christmas gift. I want to take this time to have my own spiritual retreat. I want to rediscover my faith in a new way. I want to focus wholly on God. I want a deeper relationship.
I am excited to fall deeper in love with the great I AM.

Peace, Love, and Praises

I have had an awesome week! :) I have been relaxing and reading a lot. I have read the book of Acts this summer so far. Here is my normal setting at night:
And I have to say I like the view! :) My dog Pepper has become an inside dog this summer and now sleeps at the edge of my bed at night. He is so cute! So with the Bible in my lap and Pepper at my feet I get ready for sleep. It's been nice.. and well- peaceful.
Then I have also been reminded of the amazing friendships in my life. It's been fun to just have a time of no time limits! I am not worried about schoolwork, being late for stuff, or going to bed at night. That's my kind of summer vacation! It has been so fun going hiking with Sarah, Brittany, and Becca. And then I saw Amber after a week of no-Amber time and I am just so thankful for friends I can be myself around. Who listen to me, care about, and always make me laugh! I just love them so much! <3
Amber and I went to a church on Wednesday to see the African Children's Choir. And it was so much fun! Just to hear their prue voices singing praises to God and to also get a little taste of Africa. I was amazed by how well they could dance and sing! I am always grateful for organizations like that one. That bring the lost and hurting of the world to be real living people infront of us. But it wasn't sad- it was encouraging to how lives were being changed through this organization and how blessed the children flet to be apart of it. I tell ya- it didn't do much to help cool down the fire within me to go to Africa one day. That is definately still on my bucket list! Here is the children's choir:
With the summer drawing closer to the end, I am reminded of my summer list of to-do's.. I still have a lot of those left! I am so excited for the next few weeks- I am starting my new job, I am going to the beach with my friends (AHHHH!!), and I get to meet my International Buccaneer Buddy soon! I am so excited for all those things! I just feel so full right now! I am so thankful to have a life packed with peace, love, and praises.

Lately

This summer has been so awesome! I feel so blessed to have gotten to deepen my relationships thorughout the past few months! I just wanted to share some of those snapshots through the summer:

So these next few pictures was when Amber, Mwmaba, Becca, and I went to Bays Mountian. Me, Amber, and Becca hadn;t been there since elementary school and well.. Mwamba had never been. We spent the day walking around, doing the activities, and just enjoying being together.



Our picnic set-up was so cute! :)

Next was our family beach trip to Hilton Head! That was so fun and relaxing this year!





Well those aren't even half of the pictures. But it's a start! Plus there's all those times I don't have pictures of. Like having lunch with Janelle, Emily, and Emily's adorable little boys. Then eating out with Alyssa, Brittany, and Becca. So, there's a little peak into the pictures from the beginning of this summer break! More to come!! :D

Love=Sacrifice

Repunzel: "NO! I will never stop fighting! .. But if you let me heal him I will go with you. I will not try to escape. I wll be with you forever- just like you want. Just please, please let me heal him."
Flynn Rider: "No.. I can't let you do this."
Repunzel : "Shh.. it'll be alright."
Flynn: "Repenzel..."
He pulls her close as if he is going to give her a tender goodbye kiss when- WOOSH, he swips of her long beautiful blonde hair that could have saved his life.
Ok, that is paraphrased from the Disney movie, Tangled, but stay with me here. All the geat love stories I can think of have scrifice in them. They give up comfort, safety, lifestyles, and sometimes their lives for the ones they love.
Then there is greatest love story ever told- that Jesus would come down from Heaven and die for you and me.
In the Bible, it says "No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends" -John 15:13
So what are you willing to sacrifice for the ones you love? For your friends, your family, for God?
Are you willing to sacrifice your selfishness and pride for the ones around you? How about your time and energy? What if God is calling you to give up your comfort and secerity for something He is calling you to do?
I am asking myself these same qestions- what am I willing to sacrifice for love?

The Lost Art of Empathy

We know people are hurting. There is human trafficking, disease, people with no water, AIDs... and those are only a few of the world's problems. But how does this make us feel? What do we DO about it?
We see the stats, the photography, the stories. But often times to questions we ask ourselves is "what can I do about it?" or "How does this effect me?" Even our focus on the helpless and hopeless has to do with me, myslef, and I.
So much of the time I find meself in the center of my universe. I care about these issues- but I care about myself more. About what I can do to make me more happy or how I can more- stuff, pleasure, comfort.. the list goes on.
Often times we don't put ourselves in other people's shoes, becuase we are unable to get out of our own. We are scared to imgian the pain some of these people in these situations would be feeling or thinking- Empathy.
It's putting the other person's pain above our own. It's stepping outside of our comfort zone- to have our hearts broken by someone else's pain. The first step in this process is caring. It is caring about the people who don't know you, who are unable to give anything in return, who need help.
It's being able to see these people are God's children too. That is He loves them dearly. I think of the quote from the movie How to Save a Life- "Sometimes we ask God why He is not doing anything to help those who are hurting- God may be asking us the same question."
So for today my prayer to God is to "break my heart for what breaks Your's" from a song by Starfield. I hope you join me so we can change our focus, our hearts, and others lives.